Is Social Media Bad for Tweens and Teens?
Have you been to a Facebook Birthday Party yet? One of the new rites of passage for 13 year olds is to create their Facebook profile. Entire parties are themed around this rite of passage. It’s like a Facebook Bar Mitzvah! Social media is becoming increasingly common for younger teenagers and tweens. If their motivation is not from their friends, it is likely from years of seeing their parents model life in the digital age.
There is a new arena in the debate about the affects that media is having on children and teenagers. A recent Fast Company article referenced The New Nanny, your family’s tablet computer. A deeper question for parents need to ask is “what is all of the social media doing to my tweens relationships with others?” Ask the experts and you will find a range of opinions, from the “teens are becoming anti-social” crowd to those who say it is positive identity development tool. The truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. Anti-social behavior is not uncommon among teenagers. They are in a stage of life where they are self-conscious and awkward. I was pretty anti-social too when my voice would crack and uncontrolled sweats started out of nowhere.
The “everything is rainbows and unicorn” crowd probably errs on the too idealistic side. Replacing human interaction with social media can create communication habits that do not lend themselves to healthy face-to-face interaction. Too much of a good thing is possible. Believe it or not, but teens still favor face-to-face communication.
Most teens themselves do not think that social media is having an adverse affect on their relationships. Their biggest complaint is when digital communication with someone not in the room takes precedence over the people who are together. Now if we could help them understand that we feel that way with them too! Tweens and their parents can find healthy ways to navigate this new world of social media relationships together. Here are a few tips:
- Talk about being genuine online. Self-identity development is a big part of growing up. Social media gives tweens the space to try on different identities. This is normal, and as a parent, your biggest concern should be when they are genuine to who they are. Many kids try out for band, sports, and science club. These personas do not always go together, but a tween is still figuring out the best fit. It will change in real life. It will change in the digital space. Encourage being genuine about who you are online, otherwise when you meet people face-to-face, there is going to be some explaining to do!
- Provide parameters. Social media is fun and engaging for many people, tweens and adults, but it should be balanced with other forms of interaction. Reading is great for my teenager, but he is not allowed to bring his book to the dinner table because he needs to learn the art of conversation. Social media is one form of communication. Encourage tweens to build comfort with other forms as well, especially “in real life.”
- Pay attention to what is being said by and to your tween on social media. Bullying is a very real issue, and often a screen makes it easier to say and do things that would never be said to someone’s face.
In the meantime, the debate will rage on. Several credible organizations will conduct studies about the affects of social media on teenagers. As a parent, your best study is to be engaged with your tween. You will know before anyone else if the affects are positive or not.
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