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He helps parents talk to teens, not stalk them
BY JENNIFER GREGORY – CORRESPONDENT
In his former job as a youth pastor, Brian Foreman found himself spending more and more time answering questions from parents about teens and social media.
The Raleigh father of two realized that many parents had many misconceptions about social media and were avoiding it instead of using the tool to strengthen their relationships with their children.
“I realized that there was an information gap between teens and parents, with a whole world of public happenings that parents were not aware of,” said Foreman, 40. “Teenagers are going to be on social media. We can either hide from it or engage in it.”
To help parents, he created the workshop “Talk, Don’t Stalk” and launched a website, www.socialmediaparents.com. Foreman also addresses current social media topics on his blog and posts relevant articles, such as a recent one on preventing underage Facebook use.
Foreman is now offering his parent education workshops to local churches and schools. Forest Hills Baptist Church in Raleigh invited Foreman to give his “Talk Don’t Stalk” seminar in the fall of 2012.
Carla Smith, mom of three teens and chairwoman of the youth lead team at the church, said that while many of the parents are on Facebook, most are not active on sites such as Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat.
“We found it really helpful that he explained how to use the tools, but more importantly how to use social media to engage with our children,” Smith said.
She said that since the seminar, she has been following her teens more closely not to “stalk,” but to learn their feelings about parts of their lives, such as personal relationships or college applications.
Foreman recommends that parents use the sites to increase communication with their children. For example, if you see that your child has posted on Facebook that he or she doesn’t like sixth period, then you can ask specific questions about that, he said.
“I try help parents negotiate social media ground rules for their family. I try to help them work through a contract where both sides understand each other and the emotions involved,” Foreman said.